The Characteristics of Fantasy Addiction

As submitted to conference for discussion on November 11, 2023.

  1. We confuse fantasy with real life. We attach the need for love, healing, intimacy, and growth to people or scenarios about which we compulsively fantasize.
  2. We experience emotional instability to the degree our fantasies conflict with reality.
  3. We allow fantasies to become our Higher Power, using them to numb reality and avoid our pain, fear and low self-esteem.
  4. Precious time, interests, and focus are lost to the distraction of our addictive fantasies.
  5. Our lives become unmanageable as we are immobilized by our fantasies, risking serious consequences.
  6. Our development and healthy aspirations are held hostage by our addictive fantasies.
  7. Our daily conflict between our fantasies and the real world leaves us susceptible to continued acting out.
  8. As seen through our distorted lens, interactions with the objects of our fantasies become unrealistic as we fail to regard who or what they are and ignore their boundaries and needs.
  9. When reality intrudes upon our fantasies, we experience deep pain and debilitating disappointment.
  10. When our fantasies don’t come true, we feel anxiety, depression, and despair, depriving ourselves of joy and hope.
  11. We become angry at those we fantasize about for having their own lives, which may not include us, leaving us feeling alone and frustrated.
  12. We continue to live in our fantasies, denying their empty nature and avoiding deeper healing, growth, and connection with Higher Power and others.

Signs of Recovery from Fantasy Addiction

As submitted to conference for review on March 23, 2024.

  1. We no longer turn to fantasy as a way to avoid pain.
  2. We replace fantasy with reality, accepting that fantasy is a lie that steals our lives and inhibits our growth.
  3. We foster wholeness, authenticity, and healthy connection to our true selves and others as we learn to face reality.
  4. We develop the courage and skills to live in the present.
  5. We come to know emotional stability in our lives.
  6. We find serenity, integrity, and purpose as we follow our Higher Power’s will.
  7. We no longer hide in shame and isolation.
  8. We make meaningful contributions to ourselves and others.
  9. We face our feelings in healthy, realistic ways.
  10. We respect and appreciate the sovereignty of others.
  11. We ask for help from our Higher Power and others in recovery.
  12. We learn to love and respect ourselves.

Readings for Meetings

Romantic Obsession

Our Members highly recommend reading the Romantic Obsession Pamphlet every day as part of your program until the obsession lifts. You can download the pamphlet for only 99 cents from SLAA’s Digital Literature Store.

You can also learn about Romantic Obsession from this page of readings provided by SLAA’s San Antonio Intergroup.

Issues of theJournal

Click Here to View issues of S.L.A.A.’s magazine theJournal with stories focusing on fantasy.

Fantasy Meeting Scripts (by S.L.A.A. Virtual Intergroup)

Online Meeting Scripts